Upside?

Things actually may be looking up for me. I'll most likely be able to get my hair cut before school, I'm told I'm definitely getting my drums in October, my birthday's in October which means I can get my double pedal and china as gifts, my mom's PMS level has dropped a little and my dad, came to visit and made my day. Something has to go wrong soon, this is too good.

Apartment Wanted

I've always been told, never let people walk on you, no matter who they are. But it seems every time I embrace that, I'm the one who gets in trouble, then get told I need to respect people, and learn my place. I don't care if the person is 16, or 56, if you accuse me of something, or tell me something to intentionally make me mad, I'm going to defend myself. It's a natural instinct. And for a mother to tell me that I'm going to be just another worthless Darrin Harvey, aka my dad, and that she tries to help me and give me advice on things, and I never listen is just the biggest insult you could tell me. You cannot get sued or charges pressed for someone insulting you and bossing you around, and you tell them to leave you alone, even if it is in their house. It doesn't matter if you're a minor or not, you can't do that. Someone over using their power to boss you around is something that is completely ridiculous. There are people who have higher authority, like cops, and judges. Also getting told that I'm rude, hateful, and mean to everyone all the time is the biggest lie I've heard. All I do is try to make people happy, if you make me mad, or saying something I've most likely told you I don't like hearing, yeah I'm going to say something, and it's not going to be a heart-filled love story, that's pretty natural, and then be told that from day to day this person telling me this isn't mean to me, is ridiculous. I barely talk to them, and avoid them as much as possible, and if I ask one question and I don't understand, and ask again, I get screamed at and called stupid, coming from the no-job-going-to-school-again-for-something-she-won't-pursue-stealing-money-from-the-government-liquidating-the-only-person-supporting-her-mother she is. I'm the one getting through high school, not getting a girl knocked up and dropping out cause I want to party all the time, and actually have scholarships, and plans for college. She insults my dad any chance she can, and he's more than she can ever become, he supports her with little money he can, cause he has to work at low income places, because if he tries to get experience in another thing, he'll get thrown in jail for not paying child support. He comes by and gets me anything he can, and I still get told he's a good for nothing father. Hypocrisy from someone like that is so aggravating that you just want to shoot yourself. Or if you get into an argument and prove her wrong at it, she'll say she wasn't talking about that, and just get 10 times louder than she already was, and tell you, you're wrong, and that you need to be more like her. And mother who hasn't worked since 1996, and takes everything without giving back. Yeah I want to be like you mom, you're my hero. Quote of the day from her " I think you need to spend some hours away from that TV and take a walk". Well for one I don't watch TV, for two, every time I ask to go somewhere, I get told no cause it'll either cost her money, or she'll actually have to look after me. I went to Warped Tour this year, and for that to happen I had to make all the money myself, which is fine, but as I'm making the money, she takes the first ten dollars I make for herself and gets herself something to eat. I was told I'd get paid back, never did. So I had to go and sell personal things of mine just so I could still go. This isn't a mother this is a dictator.

Punkbitch

Ok, I hack and stuff, but for a good cause. To get programs that are outrageously expensive, and a must have thing. But people who just, purposely want to mess your computer up. What the hell man. All day long I've been fighting off this guy trying to delete my internet, making advertisements play, to where I can't get to them or close them, and trying to delete my music, which is pissing me off. This is the most annoying thing on the face of planet to me right now.

Not Serious

This is the last blog for today, or tonight...early...morning? I have no idea. The last two blogs have been on serious things, but I'm always the kind of person who can just have fun, and relax. Not everything is meant to be serious, we were gifted with the ability to laugh, use sarcasm, and create something funny. I tend do all of those, as much as I can, and I love it when I can make other people laugh. People like to laugh, it makes them relax and feel good, my main goal. Being funny is just something that makes others happy. I can be as serious as you can get, or I can be goofy as hell, don't base something on just one of those. All in all, I'm just laid back, and want to have fun.

Music

For me music isn't just something that I listen to cause it sounds good, it's a more of what it's all about. I absolutely love music that can change your emotions and feelings throughout the whole thing. And I'm just not talking about a certain type of genre. I mostly listen to anything related to rock, but I always like classical music, and I don't mean classic. Music that is music. The tones and the way it flows. Most of the time when it can change how I feel is when the instruments are, violins, piano's. A symphony. Of course there's the complete other side of how I feel about music, to where sometimes I want to listen to something that gets me going, or has awesome breakdowns, or great singing. Everyone's different in what they like, but I like to keep my options open to what it is.

First Try

Well, I was inspired to start doing this by a friend of mine who I consider close, but will never know if they feel how I do. They're the only person I can talk openly too, and not feel like I'm just talking and the persons listening to just get it over with. My life's messed up, and so is the past, but this person has convinced me that the future is what counts, and that's what to look for. Happiness is a virtue, something I've rarely had in my character. They bring it to me, and that's the one thing I've needed. Thank you so much, late night talks, virus infections scaring me to death, and getting Photoshop for free are some of the things I'll never forget.